Co-Dependent Relationships

By: Psychic Janette

Relationships can be a most difficult subject in human life. Our first relationships we have with parents and family members are key because parents are the first people who should give support to their children, teach them to be appreciated, loved, and help to build their self esteem.

How we get treated in our childhood has a big impact later in our lives.
If your parents have been cold and did not give enough emotional support while helping to build self confidence, we become afraid of being alone as we have lack of trust that we can be fine by ourselves. We will desperately want to find someone who can give us what we never felt we had before. So, people might think that this is intense love, but this is about fear and need… not love. It is toxic and unrequited as well.

“I can´t live without him” is one of thoughts or sayings which is very common and in these situations, a person is not even able to think about possible separation or divorce because he or she does not feel safe without another person. They are afraid of being alone and always expect other people to make them happy rather than giving themselves self love and putting self first. . When we must love ourselves first real happiness, which is genuine, comes from within us.
We are all only responsible for our own happiness, acts and thoughts.

Co-dependent relationships are neither loving nor romantic, as they are based on lack of self love and are often abusive types of relationships. How we can make another person happy, if we don´t feel happy with ourselves?  Alcohol or other kinds of substances most likely in the picture as well. Keep in mind, you can´t heal another person, no matter how much you love that person. You are not responsible for this person´s life or choices either.

Signs of co-dependent relationship are:

– Lack of self love and self esteem
– Thinking can´t live without this another person
– Have to behave in certain way
– Blaming others for how you feel
– Playing care giving
– Trying to control situations and outcomes
– Expecting and believing that another person needs to make you happy
– Not feeling free
– Waiting to be saved

Stepping out of the wheel

Leaving from a co-dependent relationship most likely feels intimating and scary, since the individual has always depended on someone else. Things will change when the person starts to rebuild his/her own self confidence, trust and most importantly, self love. This process will take time, but things will get easier and easier. Sometimes support groups or therapy can be useful to deal with issues. You may even find the encouragement to keep pushing that you need in these situations. Remember, you have choices to change your life for the better and you will end up in a better relationship than you were in before.

Releasing from co-dependence is very rewarding and gives you a feeling of relief, empowerment and achievement afterwards. The individual making the change will actually realize that they have their own power back and are able  to follow their own path and dreams, including building a joyous life for oneself and being happier and even healthier.