Understanding Love Relationships in the Work Setting

By: Psychic Tonya

How do you know if someone is interested in you and is invested in getting to know you outside of work?

It does not matter if it’s a coworker, supervisor, or boss, sign language is the key factor to understanding if someone is invested in getting to know you.

For instance at first, I did not know if I was just seeing things between my lover and I since my lover was just a friend for years before becoming a partner. He was more of a coworker, we never associated with one another outside of work. We worked together for a few months before I ended up moving back home after college. We lost contact, and five years later it so happened that life brought us back together. I happened to desperately need a transfer since my manager was giving me a hard time. So I did not waste any time. I started calling around hoping I could reach out to manager in other areas that would give me a chance to transfer. But, what ended up happening was something very unexpected!!!!!  The manager who answered my phone call was the same coworker that worked with me five years ago. After I spoke to him about my experience and reason behind my relocation, I asked for his name and once he told me who he was my heart dropped. The man that was on the phone was the same man that I had an attraction for five years ago. When I told him who I was, he did not hesitate to tell me he would help and to not worry about it. He immediately started asking me how I was and how my career goals were going. He seemed happy to hear from me, and I was just shocked with his tone of voice after he found out who it was. Well, to be honest at the moment I just simply thought it was a kind gesture of him, but did not think anything much of since I was going through a breakup and issues at my previous location. I had too much on my plate to even worry about it at the moment, and I had no idea if the man was even married. Five years is a lot of time, and the man was attractive!

Once I got to the store, he was kind and caring. But, the complicated part is that man is a caring person in general, so it was very hard for me at first to determine if he liked me. The man is the type of person to talk with a customer for hours just to help them.

 Key things I looked for when determining if this man liked me or if I just saw things were the following:

He would always smile big when I  walked into work. He would stop what he was doing to say hi, and every time he would leave he would make sure he would say bye. He always made sure I took my breaks and if anything happened to me while on the job even if minor he would go out of his way to find out if I was okay.  For example, minor injuries or conflicts with customers. At times, I would even ask him for an early lunch break to run errands, and I did not even know he hadn’t even eaten until he would take his break after I came back from lunch. Let’s not even talk about breaking the store down lol!! Poor guy, I broke his store down all in one day!! Lol, not a joke I am serious! I broke the keys to the store, and I lost out on a huge sale for the store all in just one day. But, even when I was breaking his store down he still managed to keep his composure and address me properly and effectively. Sure enough, after he addressed me he felt bad, and I sensed that he did not want me upset at him. Again, this a huge indicator that the honey bun cared. He always noticed small details like my new hair color or new shoes and even makeup. I knew in his eyes he cared for me more than just a friend or boss. But at the moment he could not express himself because he was my boss and he was working on a promotion and the man is very professional.

This story gets more interesting. Shortly after I was breaking his store down, all of a sudden the man comes to work with a hickey. I did not know how to keep my composure – it was hard. I just wanted to kill him or at least get back at him.  In the back of my head, this is very unprofessional to come to work with, and it was so unlike him. I had no idea if there were another woman involved or if it was just a one-night thing. I couldn’t ask him because he was still my boss and also I did not have the courage to ask either way. I was not entitled to know since it was none of my business we did not see each other outside of work and he was my boss. In the end, I found a friend named patience that came in handy along the long journey, So if you don’t have one find one!! Because trust me it’s hard to survive without one lol. Also, I learned that if something is truly meant to be it will be happen and no one can take what is yours if it is true.  Therefore I didn’t care about what happened that night nor do I care to know. It wasn’t the right moment for us.

Another obstacle and hesitation that became a factor on his side was that he felt like I was intimidating. I was very outgoing and career driven and had spent time with plenty of uniformed men around me and had dated many of them as well.  I was also working on a Master’s degree and actually in the process of becoming a police officer for a competitive Police Department. So let’s face it the man had a reason to question it. Sometimes even now it still shocks me that that the man that I  had fallen for was not my typical type. And, was different from who I envisioned myself with. But face it, true love is not anticipated, and we can’t help who we fall for. I strongly believe that working together made us closer to one another and him having so much patience and being so caring toward me just made me know he was better than any other guy I dated. The man cared for me even before I became his girlfriend. He ended up getting promoted within the same month, so both our careers were heading toward the right direction.  Soon after everything started to fall into place, I finally got the job as a police officer that I had always wanted and I put in my two week notice .What do you know, the honey bun invited me out to lunch a week later and what can I say, I am one happy gal after that. I realized that the time spent on someone you care for does not go in vain nor unnoticed. Also, even when it’s the right person, rushing things can lead to catastrophes and just a huge disaster. Relationships decompose when you force or rush them. To obtain a strong, lasting relationship one must be content with being friends first and getting to know one another. That does not mean that the other person is not interested in you in my case the man could not date me at the moment since policy did not allow it. Also, I have to take into consideration that he was making our job a career. Although I did not see myself with the company he did and I did not want to ruin it for him. I ended up finding out that the hickies came from an old acquaintance, but she did not mean much to him. It was like he was trying to have what he couldn’t have. He wanted to mold her into my image, but found out I am one of a kind! Our attraction went a long way and grew stronger every day we worked together. Words were expressed during the time, but looks and sign language gestures as well as thoughtful words of encouragement were embraced which kept our attraction and friendship growing. We both looked into each other eyes and knew we liked each other. That was one of the hardest things for me. We both had a desire for months for one another, but we never took it outside of work. Instead, we got to know each other mentally, and that to me is worth a lot more than physical attraction .It was hard and frustrating working with a man I had a strong connection with without being able to address my feelings towards him because of our work situation.  But, seeing is believing sometimes. We have to wait for right timing and patience is a virtue. Learning from one another is a process that should not be rushed or timed.  Waiting for a relationship that is worth having is worth waiting for. Be patient and know that anything is possible when two souls have a strong connection. There is nothing more special than that. I am happy with my honey bun and no matter what uniformed man comes along the way. No one can compare to a man that cared so for me and did so much for me even before being his girlfriend. I hope one day we can close this chapter and start the next chapter I am ready for the next phase.

So if you are  having doubts, my friend listen to the words of the wise. Be patient, love is neither planned nor expected on a certain day. Just go with the flow and follow your soul and mind be wise to look for key things such as body language and caring actions rather than just physical attraction. Love is much more than just passion; it’s finding the right soul mate that connects with your soul not just physically but mentally and emotionally. It takes time, but faith and patience go a long way. Good luck!!

If you are going through a challenging relationship situation, reach out directly to Tonya today!

 

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